Sorry.

Sorry...

I know I have been so depress lately. (I look depresss)

Sorry...

Was none of anyone's fault, coz nothing actually happen.

Just that there's something inside, there's something wrong but I don't know how to fix it.

Sorry...

And even YOU don't understand what I'm going through.

In fact, no one does.

Sorry...

No one to be blame, I'm just not like any normal girl.

And that's why, I don't have friends. Coz non can't except who I am.

Friends ? It's just a brief title.

Anyone can be your friends, from facebook, msn, college etc.

But what is it that make the word shine ?

Friends are those who can tell when you're having trouble and will try to ease your pain.

Friends are those that being honest to you exp, telling you what they think about you, what is best and what is not good for you.

Friends are those that are happy for you when you're happy. Not those that are envy or jealous of you (at the back).

Friends are those who never manipulate others to think badly about you, or make you think badly about others. They are the one who will always stand by you and defends your back without doubt.

To me, I don't remember what all those means anymore.

I cry, I cry my own at the edge of the wall.

I smile, I smile my own with a plastic smile on my face coz no one can tell when I'm putting a fake smile.

Sorry...

Lately was being so emotional. I hardly smile or even talk.

Sorry...

I felt so useless, I felt so weak. I cry so often that my eyes look swollen everyday.

I cry everynight and sleep with my tears. It has been so frequent that I kinda think I'm having problems. Emotionally.

The other day, HE said that I'm starting to keep so much stuff to myself. HE said he hardly see I smile nowadays. After hearing those, my heart just sink.

Sorry...

I know it's not fair to treat you so cold. But I just can't help it.

And the other day when I laugh at his joke, HE said, "Finally I saw your smile again, I love to see you smile like this, you should smile more"

I'm starting to think again, am I having depression ? Why is it so hard to smile ???

Damn, maybe I'm fated to be alone.

Sorry if I made you feel bad. Not your fault. Put the blame on me.